mei in the real world
LONG TIME NO SEE... i keep missing my site anniversaries, man. first the real one and then the migration! ah well. happy one year to this domain name! it's been a lot of fun working on my site under its own name.
i was going to do an entry in june but didn't have many site updates, and thought a diary entry on its own was kind of a boring update... and here i am in july, with what is essentially just a diary entry on its own. (i feel like additions to existing pages don't count, even if they should? maybe i just have unrealistic expectations for my own site's changes, while i have no such standard for the websites i admire.)
i've been doing a lot of meeting up with people lately – family, friends from work, from college, from HIGH SCHOOL (!), from the gym – and even attending NEW SOCIAL OCCASIONS and MAKING NEW FRIENDS which is crazy to me. i think part of me always sees myself as the shy 15-year-old i was, who was always interested in other people, and who had a ton of thoughts and opinions to share, but was not confident enough in herself to put herself out there. so it feels magical to me whenever i can make connections easily or choose to start a conversation with a stranger of my own volition. like, who is she??? it weirds me out to see this behavior in myself but also makes me feel sort of proud that i've come as far as i have.
still, i gain the most energy from being Quiet And Alone and i'm finally entering a brief reprieve from all the going out!!!! (i make it sound like i am very popular, but really i spend most of my days working from home. it's just more going out these days than usual.) i feel like lots of interactions require lots of processing, and to feel like myself i need to be able to sit with myself for a bit, so i'm thankful for the break i'm getting this week.
besides that and work, i've been doing just fine. :-) i hit an easy (!) PB at the gym the other day (squatted 80kg – nothing crazy, but big for me) and started looking for suppliers for some stickers i'd like to have made. i've been going to local makers' fairs, trying to draw more, and looking at grad school.
also, i watched kpop demon hunters!!! the pacing was kind of all over the place but i LOOOOOVED the music and the look and the characters. to the surprise of no one, my favorite saja boy is baby. of course, as a ukiss truther, i also love dogboy mystery.
i haven't touched my site in a while, and i feel a little bad about it, but this has happened before so i'm not totally worried. feel like i'm getting better at letting my interests come and go, and being patient about them eventually coming back if they do. i KNOW i said a couple of entries ago that i was so scared of growing out of the things i love, so it's wild that a few months later i've achieved enlightenment about it. yay :)
(i am being facetious... i'm almost sure i'll return to panicking about it later.)
this is another entry i'd consider a lame little life update, so if you actually read this, thank you, what the hell. i know i owe people emails – SORRY!!!!!! this month for sure or you can send me an image of a knife or something.