the webmistress
hi, i'm mei! i’m a permanently agitated creature who loves to talk and draw and enjoy cute boys. i’ve been online for as long as i can remember and have, for better or worse, been shaped by my internet histories — it’s the one place i truly consider myself a native of.
i have a lot of love for many things: my family and friends, anything to do with language and culture, pokemon, well-written articles, the infinite wisdom of teenage girls, my dog and other animals, fan communities and cultures, expressive heartfelt art, and so on.
some tvtropes that describe me include: obsessed are the listmakers, covert pervert, little miss snarker, at least i admit it, creature of habit, take a third option, dramatic ellipses, picky eater, attracted to humor, and there’s no place like home.
man, it’s tough to sum up who you are in a tiny about page... well, anyway, that's what the rest of the website is for. nice to meet you!
specs
pronouns: she/her
star signs: cancer ☼, aries ☾, scorpio ↑ (+ gemini ♀)
chinese zodiac: earth tiger
identifiers: city gal, chronic worrier, youngest child, type A, normie cosplayer, night owl, netizen, and kind of a hater
likes
train rides, musical numbers, dressing for cold weather, libraries/bookstores, lists and spreadsheets, fictional characters, what it is to be human, cracking my joints, personalizing everything, yap sessions, nice stationery, powdery perfume, full circle moments, the scent of my dog when she's warm and toasty
dislikes
purity culture, phone calls, sweating!!!!!!!, lack of etiquette, arguing for argument's sake, blogsnark, being handed a flyer at the mall, spending money as a hobby, video tutorials, having too many things at once, the fish section of the grocery
hobbies
drawing, reading, writing, coding, learning languages, playing video games, daydreaming, lifting weights, watching the same 3 shows over and over again, journaling, overanalyzing my favorite characters, singing to myself, scheming
kins
(or just characters i see myself in/have been told i am like.)
essentials
stuff i feel is integral to me as a person and will likely not change lol. inspired by derek sivers' about page.
the internet is where i feel most at home.
...at least if we're talking about places and communities. i feel very at home with my loved ones, but less so with the larger communities around me and the physical places i've lived.
i think there's a mastery of environment and a familiarity with the way people around you behave that marks one's "nativeness" to a place or culture or people, and that's something i feel more strongly on the web (rather than anywhere i grew up or with the cultures i inherited). i've been online for as long as i can remember, and it's always been a major part of how i lived. i speak the language of the terminally online and know how to find community anywhere. it's where i retreat to for a breather from real life.
i don't see myself leaving the www in the future, and will probably be a netizen old lady when the time comes lol.
i'm always working on something.
i hate to be in stasis – something i inherited from my mom. it's fulfilling to me to always have something to plan / think about / get hyped over. it's caused me to burn out a couple of times, and now i have a strong screening process when i want to get involved in something new for my sanity's sake, but i don't think i'll ever shake the urge.
most of it is creative work, but i will even go hard on stuff that does not need that much effort, simply because i like spending time on fun tasks. some examples include: making custom graphics for this site, doing hours of research for a self-indulgent AU, and adding fancy transitions to my slides for a powerpoint party with friends.
even when i look like i am doing nothing, i am probably doing something, or at least scheming to do it.
i have strong opinions.
i care a lot about the stuff i care about, and it's easy for me to decide whether i like or dislike something – food, activities, behavior, aesthetic choices, media, people, etc.
as a result, i am very particular about how i like things to go. this means i am not naturally flexible, but also means i'm not wishy-washy – save for situations where i pretend to be flexible and then later decide i don't want to be, lol. i'm usually decisive and will act on my opinions if doing so nets a positive outcome.
i am moderately vocal: i try to temper myself when doing things such as making group decisions or casual conversation with people, and of course am open to changing my mind about things, but i honestly quite like this part of me.
preserving memories is important to me.
i keep (personal) archives like nobody's business. i've always kept journals or digital logs, trying to take snapshots of how i lived and what i thought about and who i loved at specific points in time. i also have a hard time throwing things out. i feel like i'm living a life i enjoy and i don't like the idea of forgetting any of it, even though that's inevitable.
in general, i love looking back lol. it's nice to see growth and change in the little things – i find i appreciate both the present and past more when i see them juxtaposed.
(this also means any stories that have to do with memory, time travel, past selves, diverging paths, etc. always get me... augh)
i'm a city girl, through and through.
i was raised in a city and feel most at home amidst the hustle and bustle. i like that there's always something to do, and that things are convenient. the places i most like to travel to are also cities! i love wi-fi and strong phone signals and easy public transport and having shops nearby. i am a creature of comfort.
small towns are fine with me though; completely rural areas less so. but i know nature and slowness are good for the soul so i don't totally avoid them – i just stay away most of the time. i respect you from a distance, bugs and itchy grass and direct sunlight...!
i am a sociable hermit.
i am generally pretty insular – i keep my inner circles small, and dislike when people get too close too fast. but i like interacting with people a lot, and get cabin fever when i'm alone for too long! although i struggle with social anxiety, it makes me happy to get to meet and chat with new people, even though it requires that i don the guise of someone friendlier, more approachable, and less awkward than i actually am.
i'm most energized by the minute interactions you get running errands or having one-off encounters, and that extends itself to stuff like emails and getting notes from passing strangers on my site. i especially like learning about people and hearing stories from their lives, or getting glimpses into their day or personality via extended small talk. people are so fun!
i value authenticity and thoughtfulness.
kind of a weird combo, maybe? but this is how i try to approach situations and how i like to be approached :) i like when people put some thought into what they say or do and mean it when they say or do it, without ulterior motives.
i don't think much of things like networking or empty compliments or half-baked work for a moment of clout/attention. i dislike behavior that is overly reactionary or inconsiderate. i like art that's clearly taken time and thought, anonymous kindnesses, and people who are unapologetically themselves even if it means not appealing to everyone.
i love fun!
although i am a creature of comfort, i will push myself outside my comfort zone for the plot. i'll do things i normally wouldn't do if i think it would make for a fun or interesting experience! i think part of the fun of life is growing or changing as a person in ways you don't even realize in the moment, so i try to give myself those opportunities :)
conversely, i can't do anything if i don't think it's fun, and i make it everyone's problem. over the years i've developed an ability to find the fun in even boring shit but it doesn't always work, and in those cases all i can do is get out of there lol.
fun for me can mean anything from "some crazy shit a friend wants to do that is very OOC for me" to "i will make a very nice indulgent spreadsheet categorizing my blorbos by age, media type, etc." they're usually things i can preserve, as memories or keepsakes of a certain time, which goes back to the looking back thing.
more?
i'll add to this whenever i think of stuff.
- i like meeting people from different cultural backgrounds! i have a complex relationship with my own background, so learning about all the little nuances of others' relationships with theirs is fun.
- i prefer being around people who are a bit different from me. most of my friends are in different fandoms, have different tastes and hobbies, etc.! value-wise there's more similarity, but i generally don't vibe as well with people who are too like me.
- i like to be organized, though whether i succeed or fail is a different story. i guess i like the spectacle of performing organization.
- i am a pervert.
- if you couldn't tell – i am a chronic oversharer.
